The Emergency Singing Sensation

Friday, April 29, 2005

Happy! Happy!

I'm feeling happy today because it's a Friday. The week is finally over. I had three reports this past week. I had two exams today, but at least, I can enjoy the weekend!

I'll start everything off with a lot of congratulations. Congratulations to all of my orgmates who graduated!

Congratulations to my lobster buddy Ryan Oliva for he is now the News Editor of the Philippine Collegian.

Congratulations to Ryan Balisacan for bagging the position of Issues Editor (Philippine Collegian), for graduating with honors, and for making it to UP Law.

Congratulations to Tin Antonio for getting the SLAAC Committee in the USC.

Summer is really hot this year. It's a good thing the UP has a lot of trees so basically, the campus is shaded and is relatively cooler than other parts of the metro. I am looking forward to going ice-skating in Monday.

I bumped into a lot of people today. I saw Paolo, Chris Lao, Abdel Jamal, Arianne, Jeff A. Jeff C, Pats, my blockmates Joseph, Michael and Marlon. I'm just happy coz I haven't seen these people for quite some time.

I also bumped into one of the best Political Sscience profs, Sir Jaime Naval. I like him because he gives really good advice. I asked him something (this something will be revealed when the right time comes) when I saw him and he answered me, "why should you feel jittery when you are telling the truth? you should always defend the truth." I now pray that I get over the jittery feeling. Sir Naval is right...I am probably feeling jittery because the situation I will be in is a bit intimidating.

Going to Paolo and Chris Lao, it seems to me that these two have a some sort of connection. If I see Chris, I'll see Paolo a little later, and vice versa. In addition to that, the two have love problems right now. Their love problems, I am not at liberty to tell. I don't know why the two are soo connected...

I would like to apologize if what I have written here are not organized. I am basically typing down whatever comes to mind.

Good night!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Uniqua

My goddaughter Angel says that I am Uniqua in the NickJr. show entitled "The Backyardigans". I like that show! They're called Backyardigans because they are always playing in the backyard. I like the show because of the singing and dancing and cuteness of the characters. Try watching it and see if you'll like it too. It's on Nickelodeon every Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 10:30 am.

Summer classes began last Monday. I am taking up Filipino 40 and PI 100. Wala lang...gusto ko lang siya ilagay dito.

Oh yeah! Congratulations to Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger aka Pope Benedict XVI! My sister woke me up the night he got elected as Pope. I am happy that we have a Conservative Pope, much like Pope John Paul II. I even said, "ayan, marami nang baby boys na ipapangalan na Benedict o kaya Joseph." Then suddenly, I remembered that my sister has a godson already named Joseph Benedict! Cool, huh?

As usual, jokes (thru SMS) have been made about the new Pope. Stuff like, the Roman Catholic church is now being led by a German Shepherd. (The Sunday before the conclave began was Good Shepherd Sunday). In the UK, he is supposedly referred to as "Papa Ratzi" (gets?).

Happy Birthday to my good friend Alessandra Maria Anna Gloria O. Reyes! In short, Arianne Reyes. The incumbent CSSP Chairperson; the Secretary-General of the previous council.

Hi to my blockmate, Mr. Joseph John V. Lumanog! He is now the Editor-in-Chief of CSSP's official student publication, Sinag.

That's all for now. I am already sleepy. Good night!

Friday, April 15, 2005

Finding Neverland and Church Politics (part2)

I watched the film Finding Neverland last night with my sister and our friend Bea. It was nice! It's about the life of JM Barrie...it's a tearjerker, but you'd surely like the film. The special effects were good. I won't tell much about the story...I might spoil it for you. If you love Peter Pan, you have to watch this film.

I wrote something a few weeks ago..to release my feelings about what happened to me in Church. I received a response from our Church (my parents wrote a letter) and I hope this is the ending I've been looking for. Anyway, I want to put what I wrote here. Sayang naman kung walang makakabasa..hehe..

Everything started during the Holy Week. Holy Monday, I arrived in church around 8pm. I came straight from school and had not eaten dinner. I skipped passing by home (to eat dinner) just to receive a tongue-lashing (in church). A tongue-lashing, because I did my job. The elders in church told me to keep quiet. I myself wanted to keep quiet because I got scared. But to my surprise, on that same fateful night (forever etched in my memory), news already broke out of what happened. At first, I wanted to keep quiet but my heart felt so heavy I just spilled out everything to my dad and I cried. That was the first time I came home from church crying.

The next night, I had another practice in church. By then, I knew that news had spread because my co-LAC (Lectors and Commentators) questioned me. I told them I kept quiet because that was the order I received. So I told my story to them...and they told me (Ate Sol and Kuya Jonjon) that I should have said something right away. To tell you the truth, I did not reply or answer back when I received the tongue-lashing because there were a lot of old people and I didn't want to be labeled as a rude teenager and I did not want to say anything drastic nor preempt things.

Wednesday night: another practice with the choir. The Choirmaster (who lashed his tongue at me) arrived and started to say things directed to me. I just kept my composure and told myself that I would sing the best that I could.

Washing of the feet, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday were the days when I had to sing the responsorial psalm. I dreaded seeing the choirmaster, but I knew I had to face him. I just told myself that I had to sing beautifully: for God, for the priest, for the churchgoers, for the LAC, for myself, and to prove to choirmaster that he cannot break me. I am glad to say that everything went fine. I was able to sing without any hitch.

When the First Tuesday of Easter arrived, my parents gave a letter addressed to our parish priest. This letter reached the people it concerned right away. I found that out because I was accosted when I served during the 6pm Sunday Mass. I guess the choir coordinator got the shock of her life. She told me "paprangkahin kita". She was asking why the letter was directed to our parish priest. She thought that everything was okay "between the four of them". Who the four are, is anybody's guess. I am not part of that four. Basically, the issue here is the lack of coordination between the LAC and the Church Choir. I have nothing to do with that issue because I am not the LAC coordinator. But I got caught in the middle of the issue because I got the ire (which should not have been directed to me) of the choirmaster and the choir coordinator.

Maybe age is a factor here. You see, I am the youngest active member of LAC. Maybe they think that they can push and shove me because they know that they are much older (decades older) so I wouldn't dare fight back in front of their faces. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't fight back unless it is done in the proper venue. I hate the fact that these people just accost me when they see me in church. It has become disheartening for me. Can you imagine that I got accosted right before the start of a mass? Really distracting...

There have been times when I just want to stop serving. But I am not walking away this time. This is not a valid reason for me to stop serving God.

Why do I say that I am not walking away this time? Five years ago, when I was still 14, I got involved in a controversy. Our then parish priest, Fr. Doods Coroza, got mad at my elders (I was part of the choir that time). I was absent for two sundays and so he scolded them for tiring me (senakulo rehearsals, juat like my present problem, it was around the Lenten season). In his words, "dati, ang aga-aga andito na si Marian. Ngayon, di na nagse-serve kasi pinapagod niyo". A lot of other issues ensued and so I left. For three years, I did not serve in our parish because of that. But this time around, I am not walking away. I am five years older; I have to face this head-on. Of course, my parents and my sister are by my side. They have to guide me, especially since this is my first time to fight back. Speaking of parents, that's another thing.

When I serve in our main church, my parents usually do not accompany me (they hear mass in our village chapel). Sometimes, I think that's another reason why the feel so comfortable in accosting me; because they know my parents are not around. But what if they are? Would they do the same thing to me?

I believe that my faith is being tested here. But I will hold on; I will not allow my spirit to break. For my friend Paolo Sanchez, these petty problems shouldn't get in the way of my faith and that it's a matter of knowing who my master is and for me, it is God. Chris Lao says that I am a strong person. If one person thinks that I am, then I must be. He probably sees something in me that other people don't.

If there's a silver lining in all that has happened to me, it's the fact that I was able to do my best during the Holy Week. Palm Sunday of 2005, I was assigned to be the narrator (gospel) for the 8am mass. I found out later that people were asking who the narrator was and that a churchgoer got moved to the point that he/she cried. Also, Ligaya Garcia, an elderly who always points out our mistakes, had nothing bad to say during Palm Sunday; she was all praises for the LAC and that she especially mentioned me.

After the Holy Thursday mass (washing of the feet), I got the thumbs-up from my co-LAC; my friends from the charismatic group told me that it was as if they were watching me in concert. Ligaya Garcia asked me if I would be doing all of the psalms and I answered yes and she smiled at me. I interpret her smile as something good.

After the Easter Vigil, I received a "very good" from our parish priest. This surely lit a smile on my face.

Easter Sunday, I was not exactly in the best mood for I was told to sit in a place I did not want to sit in. My wounds were still fresh but since it was Easter Sunday, I had to be happy. I gave the psalm my best shot.

Currently, I am developing a fear. I am afraid of singing the psalm again...but I should not be. As of now, I still do not feel comfortable in dealing with the choir. I will probably sing for the bishop and on special occasions, but not on regular Sunday masses.

Why does our parish have to be super politicized?

Today, I received the reply of our parish priest, as noted by the Executive Committee Chairperson and the Worship Committee Coordinator. I have just been labeled "vindictive" (a label I do not think I deserve; so much for fighting for my right..the right to be respected and be treated properly. In addition to that, my parents wrote the letter because they became concerned. Why would I go home from church crying?)) but they did acknowledge the fact that the choirmaster overreacted and had no right in lashing his tongue at me.

I am hoping that this issue will end. My parents and my sister are not exactly satisfied with what is written in the letter for I have just been labeled vindictive. I told my sister that I do not care anymore what they call me. As far as I am concerned, I will continue serving in church.

Sorry for the long post...I just wanted to let everything..as in EVERYTHING...out.

Monday, April 11, 2005

A sigh of relief

whew...I feel relieved. Relieved over something I cannot disclose here. Sabi ng ibang mga tao, baka daw masyado lang ako nagpapaapekto. Pero ayoko naman magbulag-bulagan sa mga problemang alam kong nasa harap ko. But I can breathe freely now. I just got off the phone and I'm so glad that I have such an understanding friend; and that everything seems to be turning out fine. I hope it stays that way. I have to admit though, that I was shocked. I was told of something different than what actually happened. But you told me the truth..and you have the right to know my side of the story. uuuyyy...napapaisip na sila kung sino yun! I'm happy that you're always there to listen to me. You've seen me through my ups and downs; you've seen me when I was really troubled. O..ititigil ko na ang kadramahan na ito. at wag niyo na isipin kung sino itong friend na ito...mahihirapan lang kayo.

Yesterday, we celebrated my dad's birthday. I got to see my really big godson. His name is Carlos Joaquin. He's only 9 months old, but he weighs like a 2-year old kid. I also got to see cousins...and basically all of my relatives. Basically, it was a happy day for me..plus it was not that hot.

Woohoo....a few days to go and it's back to school for me!!! I am taking up summer classes so that my academic load will be lessened come AY 2005-2006.

Thought for the day: What is the truth?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Church Politics

I watched the Pope's funeral from 3pm to 7pm. Yup! That's the entire time it was LIVE on TV. I was even challenging myself with a game "name-the-world-leader-who-enters-the-basilica". Of course, I couldn't name them all...I am not familiar with the leaders from Eastern Europe.

The responsorial psalm was Psalm 23. It was sung, and it reminded me of an experience during the Holy Week. I sang the psalms for the Holy Thursday, Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday masses but the story behind it is something else. I'll probably tell you the story some other time. The story is quite long, but I'll give you a background. I am a lector in church and there is a rule that if you are a lector and the psalm will be sung, the lector is allowed to do so. If you are a choir-member but not a lector, you are not allowed to sing the psalm at the lectern. The thing is, our choir practiced some psalms (they're not supposed to do that because they are aware of the rule I just mentioned) and they got mad at me when they found out that I had already prepared the psalms I was assigned to sing. Prepared here means I already had a tune for all the psalms I had to sing. I received a tongue-lashing for doing what I was supposed to do; I was treated with such rudeness and disrespect that I could only mumble "po" and "opo".

I like politics and I enjoy UP politics no matter how painful it can be at times. What I do not like is church politics! No, I am not talking about how they elect a new Pope. I am talking about the people who try to suck up to our parish priest. Really pathetic, if you ask me. I view going to church as a form of relaxation. But now, I dread it. I sometimes dread going to church especially if I know that I'll see the rude guy. I have been told that I should not mind this church issue of mine when I serve. I try not to, but then, they are the ones bringing it back. Can you believe that I got accosted by one of the people mad at me right before the start of a mass? It was very distracting! It made me feel like going home right then and there, but of course I did not do that because that would have been abandonment of duty.

Friday, April 08, 2005

A New Beginning

Yay! I finally have my own blog. I am currently in "bum" mode; my summer classes will start after a week so I still have some days to enjoy before going back to "acad" mode.

Last night, I went out with my sister and a couple of friends. We ate at Masas (Greenbelt 2) for dinner and Haagen-Dazs for dessert. The food was absolutely yummy. I felt like a pig after eating...I was stuffed!

Today, I cleaned out my school stuff and wrapped some of my precious books. I also reserved some chairs and tables because my family will be having a party on Sunday in celebration of my dad's birthday.

In case you're wondering why my blog is entitled "The Emergency Singing Sensation", I'll tell you the story behind the name. You see, I am a member of the University of the Philippines' Sirkulo ng mga Kabataang Artista or UP SIKAT. I am really a dancer, but whenever we have a performance and a singer is not available/absent, I am the substitute. Finally, my orgmates gave me the name "Emergency Singing Sensation".

That's all for now. I'm gonna watch the Pope's funeral...may he rest in peace.